Update
Funny how as soon as I write about how things aren't going my way (blah, blah, blah). The next thing I know, work is going great, I'm selling bikes from out of nowhere and I have been busy as a bee. (which is all I wanted) There's nothing worse than sitting at work for 8 hours with nothing to do. I have a really great job, but sometimes I run out of things to do. As of now, I am happy, working away the day with no complaints!
As for Suz, things have been pretty good. She went to her ex's house today to "help" move appliances. I have a little peeve with this ex. It just so happens she is always in the middle of me, my loves and my friends. She is a Drama Queen. She thrives on attention. It was really hard for Suz to get over this girl. Even though they were broken up and Suz and I started dating, we all used to go out together. They also used to live next door (apt's) to each other. Anyway, one night Chelsi called her over and turns out Suz was trying to kiss her. Since that night, I have never trusted them two alone together. I used to get really jealous and tell her she couldn't be alone with her. She knows how I feel and even to this day, I don't feel it's necessary for her to be hanging out with Chelsi. So I called Suz at 2:00 and she was there "watching motocross". Her plans were to hang out there until 5:00 then go to work meeting she has at 6:00. She said she would call on her way out. Well it's 5:40 and no call. Inside I'm a little jealous. But then sometimes I hope she fucks up and that's my way out. Sometimes I just want to be single in my own space. Alot of that is my selfishness. It's all about what I want to do. Then I think to myself: Will I be as miserable as I was when we first broke up? I didn't eat, barely slept and was filled with anxiety. I doubt I could feel that way again, after all we have been through. But when I think of leaving her, my heart hurts and I think of all the great times we had. In the end, it will come down to her. She has a cheating past and I know that. But if I find out about any current slips, you can bet I will be packing my bags and hitting the road.
As for Suz, things have been pretty good. She went to her ex's house today to "help" move appliances. I have a little peeve with this ex. It just so happens she is always in the middle of me, my loves and my friends. She is a Drama Queen. She thrives on attention. It was really hard for Suz to get over this girl. Even though they were broken up and Suz and I started dating, we all used to go out together. They also used to live next door (apt's) to each other. Anyway, one night Chelsi called her over and turns out Suz was trying to kiss her. Since that night, I have never trusted them two alone together. I used to get really jealous and tell her she couldn't be alone with her. She knows how I feel and even to this day, I don't feel it's necessary for her to be hanging out with Chelsi. So I called Suz at 2:00 and she was there "watching motocross". Her plans were to hang out there until 5:00 then go to work meeting she has at 6:00. She said she would call on her way out. Well it's 5:40 and no call. Inside I'm a little jealous. But then sometimes I hope she fucks up and that's my way out. Sometimes I just want to be single in my own space. Alot of that is my selfishness. It's all about what I want to do. Then I think to myself: Will I be as miserable as I was when we first broke up? I didn't eat, barely slept and was filled with anxiety. I doubt I could feel that way again, after all we have been through. But when I think of leaving her, my heart hurts and I think of all the great times we had. In the end, it will come down to her. She has a cheating past and I know that. But if I find out about any current slips, you can bet I will be packing my bags and hitting the road.
posted by scarletpappion at 5:26 PM
4 Comments:
I'm very glad to hear that things are going well! I hope that they continue this way for you for a long time! I think it's hard to find someone we can spend our lives with so I hope you have a lasting and quality relationship! It gives hope to the rest of us...
:-)
Sounds like work is going good...Congrats on selling the bikes!
I hope things in the relationship area sort themselves out too, I know how hard that kind of crap can be.
She'd have to be crazy to risk losing you though!
:)
Maybe it's just a temporary feeling? No relationshp run smooth all of the time. Way the good with the bad and judge it that way. When there is more bad then good then maybe it's time to go. But if there is more good then bad maybe it's worth staying. I'll be thinking of you take care.
I'm glad things are working out. nothing makes me smile more then to know two people are happy!
Mr. Morris
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